The Great Debacle of Questioning
When comparing and contrasting Engaging the Soul of Youth Culture (ETS) and Postmodern Youth Ministry (PMYM) several different conflicting ideas and theories have been battling through my mind. The controversial shift of thinking from a modernist to postmodernist standpoint takes enough presence in itself but then adding the question of responding to this thinking dives into a whole new level. Although one of the more challenging theories to think about, I have found much wisdom and insight to both of these eras and am continuing to keep my mind open to building a better foundation of learning for them. By thinking critically on these theories I have found myself coming up with a lot more questions than answers and confusion rather than clarity yet I see God’s grace through this learning process. My focus for this journal is rather one of un-focus. Maybe that’s not allowed, maybe I am stepping into an arena that shouldn’t be touched, yet the more and more I read, think, and write I find myself discovering more about myself, God, and the ministry He has called me to. And for this I will allow myself to question, analyze, and slowly but surely understand how I, with God’s provincial power, form this box of youth ministry rather than how the box of youth ministry forms me.
Since being a part of the religion department at Northwestern I have often struggled with the concept of the gazillion different denominations that all claim the Christian faith. I question many different aspects of this like, why the church has become so divided if this isn’t God’s desire for the church? Are traditions really that different and such great of a debate that the church can’t join as one? Are Christians called to model the image of the first church? Or should Christians be bringing the church into the culture and era in the present? If Christ’s return will bring together the bride and groom in communion, how do Christians foster this? Among all of the questioning and reasoning my brain has done, I find myself realizing that maybe these sorts of questions are the basis for why the church is indeed divided now, maybe I am one to continue this long angst of division. I truly enjoyed the introduction of PMYM in which Tony Jones declared this book is not about the methodology or how-to’s of ministry but rather the fostering of discussion and, “Deconstructing the old paradigms and then proposing a series of reflections on culture, the church, and the state of youth ministry as we begin the third millennium (p. 12).” There is much difference in the viewpoints Jones and Mueller hold regarding the routes and avenues one should follow into the postmodern era but my reflection on these readings has brought me back to simplicity and a root or foundation. I am very thankful for the numerous speakers that have come to class. Throughout all, the constant variable or truth I have picked out of their practical ministry lives is one of a basis. This has been portrayed as,
-“Loving God and loving kids, everything else will fall into place (Jerry Root).”
-“Discerning God’s provincial call into the whereabouts of the life of a youth (Mark Poppin).”
-“Give your heart and soul to God rather than people who are trying to sell you stuff (Jeff Monroe).”
With these in mind I have better developed my theology of youth ministry to be rightly rooted in Christ alone and find my base and foundation on the one true Lord. Yes, the practical aspects and methods of ministry will come for me soon enough, but if my core values reside in Jesus Christ, His teachings, and His calling for me to commit to the lives of kids, I shall follow obediently based off of these.
When reading through these youth ministry books I cannot help but fall into the trap of trying to fit myself into the characteristics they describe of a “signpost on a sidewalk (ETS)” or the “postmodern values (PMYM).” I believe these are essential to evaluate among ourselves, as future ministers, and see areas in which they are applicable to the culture before us yet I cannot adopt all of these for my own or try and change the pursuit God has graciously blessed me with just to fit into these values. In saying this I am by no means arguing that Jones or Mueller are trying to create one uniform type of youth pastor, I truly believe their intentions for informing and educating this realm are genuine and trustworthy. Yet for me I unintentionally tend to adopt all of these modes of thinking and assume that because a trusted author thinks these characteristics are respectable and valued in a youth pastor then I must make them own. For me personally, this is where a line needs to be crossed to discern from healthy and unhealthy modes thinking in this regard. I look back to a lot of my notes in the margins of my books and find comments such as ‘that’s not like me’ or ‘maybe should I be more like this.’ In the Calvin College documentary on the emerging church, one young lady said, “The second that you give something a label, it automatically excludes people.” Although speaking about a different arena, I find this being very applicable to my thoughts right now. I am thankful and grateful for the differing viewpoints that have been a vital part of the continuing transformation of my mind and am excited to pull from all to create my overall theology of youth ministry that I refuse to ever be complete yet an ongoing work in progress towards the resemblance of Kingdom of God.
To be completely honest and vulnerable a huge foothold of the devil lately in my life has been in academics. My constant mindset of perfectionism has overlapped into this arena and I struggle greatly with feeling like I need an A in every single class to be successful. I truly believe God has brought me to this journal entry as a tangible step towards alleviating this fixated fervor of mine. I have prayed through this and realize that maybe I have not spent as much time as I should summarizing the readings, analyzing two separate issues of the text, or providing practical applications but I have grown in this journal far more than any other. I have thought more critically about myself, God, and youth in a new and refreshed way, have discovered significantly more about youth ministry, and opened my eyes to a greater theology of ministry. For all of these and more I believe that only by Christ’s power I have laid down some former obstacles and lived more freely into faith through this journal writing. Now I must trust and believe that the Lord will provide fruit and assurance through it.
